Heels and Hoodies
by BL0524
Summary: Series of short drabbles that focus on Lydia's perspective of the growing relationship between herself and Stiles. All events used are canon. Some of these might be out of chronological order. Rated T just in case my future self decides to go that way.
1. Beginning of Sophomore Year

What does she care for this brown eyed boy?

He is more of a puppy than a person, and she doesn't have time for him to be trailing at her heels as they click on the pavement.

Lydia Martin will toss her hair and bite her lip and rule the world on pure sex appeal alone, and no one will stop her.

Especially not Stiles Stilinski. And his puppy crush doesn't matter.

_You look…. like you're going to ignore me. _

Damn right she is.


	2. After the Dance

He'd called her beautiful. And she's not sure why she's still thinking about it. She has just been attacked after all. And really, the fact that she's in an ambulance probably indicates that now is not the time or place to be dwelling on this.

But it was more than just that. She'd been called beautiful before, but never smart or brilliant or amazing, and she most definitely had not been looked at as if she were the sun. And Lydia Martin isn't sure how she feels about that.

_Get off your cute little ass and dance with me. You look beautiful when you cry._

God, **what** is happening?

Stiles Stilinski is most definitely not a puppy. He's a person. And as much as Lydia hates to admit it, he's kind of adorable.


	3. After the Hospital

_He's been here all night? He's been here all weekend._

Lydia is not deaf. She can hear the conversation being exchanged outside the door of her hospital room. She can imagine Stiles sprawled out across three chairs in the waiting room. Snoring faintly in her imagination (but only because she can't bring herself to entertain the possibility that he is actually somewhat perfect).

Her memory of the attack is starting to return. And that was no coyote. But she decides to remain quiet, because she is now certain that Stiles did in fact protect her from Peter. And since he "agrees with the authorities" on the whole coyote thing, she will too.

He knows about this world. This world of his, where the **people** turn into the biggest monsters. Kind of like they do in hers.

She wants to be a part of it too. It seems more real than the world she's living in now.

Then again, it could be because this world has Stiles Stilinski. And if that boy isn't real, from his buzz cut, to the freckles dusting his skin, to his feet; then no one is. And anywhere he goes, anyone he touches, is a little better for it.


	4. After the Lacrosse Game

His lip and cheek have been bleeding, and Lydia Martin hates whoever has done this to him. Sure, she had been upset when she saw Jackson with puncture wounds, but she is positively **livid** over the fact that someone has carved a few shallow scratches onto Stiles's face.

Surely, this is an over reaction. Surely she shouldn't be wanting to clear away all the pain clouding his eyes the way that she does. But this is Stiles. And bright eyes are meant to stay bright. And she can't bear to see them all foggy like this.

But she should be thinking of Jackson.

_Death doesn't happen to __you__…._

_If you die, I will literally go out of my freaking mind._

Excuse her while she breaks a little inside. Sometimes she forgets that just because Stiles seems radiant and pure, doesn't mean he's not a little cracked and rusting. Just like her. Shiny exteriors covering something tarnished and aching.

Maybe they can find some silver polish together.

But she can't think like this. She has to help Jackson. And the key in her pocket takes precedence over this boy who is begging her not to go.

Or so she tells herself.


	5. After She Saves Jackson

Lydia feels like she's drowning. Waves of confusion keep crashing over her head and sweeping her heart out with the tide. She's saved Jackson with a house key and a few simple words, and she thinks it should have taken more than just _I still love you_.

Because does she?

In the moment that she said it, Lydia thought those words were true. But once she's lying in her room alone that night, she realizes that she doesn't. Not anymore. What scares her is that she can't pinpoint exactly when she stopped.

And there had been a boy who shed a single tear and turned away so he couldn't be seen. There had been a boy who hid his face and choked down the sounds of pain trying to force their way out. Because he wants her to be happy. Even if he's not.

And Lydia thinks that she most definitely **does not deserve** Stiles Stilinski and his unwavering admiration, no **feelings** for her. She can't pretend he only has a crush after how he just tried to emotionally protect her.

So she hates herself a little bit. She can't give the most deserving boy in the universe what he deserves. Because she will never be as good as him. She will never be good enough _for_ him.

And that night she keeps replaying the look on Stiles's face over and over.

Somehow she now has a record player built into her brain and it just keeps playing again and again on loop like some sick sort of ballad. It doesn't grate on her ears.

It grates on her heart.


End file.
